How to Find Meaning in a Meaningless Life

I want to prepare myself for death. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not self-destructive or suicidal; and I’m most definitely not in any life-threatening danger, I mean, I’m a spoiled teenager. Though the thought of death does strike my mind as I think about how each day I’m alive brings me closer to being consumed by the nothingness void. So as the date of my ultimate demise draws nearer, what do I have to show for my meaningless existence? I ask myself this question before a power-hungry maniac’s urge to press a shiny red button blows us up to smithereens or I get trampled by the weight of a couple 100 horses packed into a four-wheel machine. At least these outcomes would be more interesting than wasting my days enslaved at an office desk.

My Possible Future

Life isn’t as romantic as I imagined. We sprout up like beans until we’re plucked only to be placed on someone else’s dinner plate. But one thing I’ve learned in school is that in a graph of statistics, there are almost always outliers.

Sure, some people crave a house in the suburbs enclosed with a white picket fence that eventually they’ll dread pulling up to after years of wailing babies and mortgage bills. But I’ll take a wild guess and assume most people’s first choice when they picture their life isn’t sitting in an office cubicle until they inevitably kick the bucket. Instead, we should find a way to make a living doing something that we love so that when we die, we will be satisfied with our lives.

Unfortunately, this isn’t a perfect world and realistically, you can’t be whoever you want to be. The only thing that sets my dad apart from Rivers Cuomo is a sheer amount of luck, a difference in upbringing, and most importantly, drive. I’m not saying my dad wasn’t driven to be a musician, but he chose to balance his passion for music with his drive for financial stability. Just getting by as a starving artist wasn’t doing him too well in that department. So maybe you’ll give up your dreams for security like my dad and wonder how life could’ve been if you hadn’t settled. Because settling for something you never really wanted doesn’t ever bring true satisfaction. How far you get on the road to achieving your personal goals really depends on if you’re going to take risks, settle for a mundane job, or find a balance in between. Maybe you’ll never become one of those outliers on a graph, but you can damn well try.

Reality is harsh and dream-crushing. Not everyone is going to become the next LeBron James, or Leonardo DiCaprio, or my friend’s dad who loves his job so much he lives and breathes in his Doctor’s scrubs. People say that there's a fine line between a dream job and a realistic job, but what we really need to do is erase that line completely. Because how can we possibly know how pursuing our dream career will go if we don’t give it a shot? Sure, there’s a possibility your idea could crash and burn, so it's up to you to decide what balance of passion and stability you’ll put into building your future. Maybe you realize that drawing online art commissions with no traction isn’t the best way to pay rent, so you settle down with a printing company and a lifetime of regret. Or maybe you realize you haven’t been making a living as a starving artist, so instead you find a balance and become an architectural drafter. I’d say you got pretty close.

It’s hard to get a job you love when the world is cruel. Not everyone wins the genetic lottery and not everyone has the same opportunities; which is something that I most likely won’t have to face the reality of, being able to fall back on my family’s financial safety net. We all know a 5’4 aspiring athlete won’t make it to the NBA. So why not be a personal trainer? Not everyone comes from the same background. Not everyone is born with the statistics that make them that outlier on a graph, or the luck that makes them topple off the plate of beans. Not everyone can become exactly what they want to be, but everyone can give it a shot.

Maybe when I die I’ll have settled, and laugh at my old rebellious angst and how it set me back from obtaining financial independence. Or maybe I’ll be creating the music I want successfully. Or maybe I'll find comfort in the fact that I’ve made the most of my life, regardless of my career not picking up the way I imagined. Life is ultimately worthless in the grand scheme of things unless you make it worth something. The only way to be truly satisfied with your life is to find a way to make a living doing something that you actually enjoy. I want to prepare myself for death, but not in a melodramatic, exaggerated way. I want to be the outlier. I want to spend my days doing the things I love, and make meaning of my meaningless existence. When the time comes, I want to prepare myself for a satisfied demise. What about you?